As someone who is slightly over middle-aged, I can remember being in school and having to bring in a shoebox or something similar to make a "mail" box for Valentine's Day. As I grew older, the stakes grew higher as February 14th meant buying a girlfriend and eventually a wife the appropriate card, candy, gift, and dinner out or making dinner to "show my love" for them. Being older, more mature, and having instant data at my fingertips, I asked ChatGPT why we do this and where Valentine's Day came from.
So, briefly and keeping in mind that I am not a historian, Around 268 AD, Emperor Claudius II thought it was a good idea to ban young men from marrying. Claudius believed a single man was a better warrior than a married man. There are no clear records of this time, but St. Valentine, who at this time would have been a priest in Rome or the Bishop of Terni (ChatGPT didn't know which), thought Claudius' idea was dumb, so he kept performing secret weddings.
Valentine got caught. He was imprisoned for his faith and for defying the emperor. While he was in jail, he befriended—and some accounts say he healed—the jailer's blind daughter. On February 14th, 269, Father Valentine was executed. He left a final letter to the jailer's daughter and signed it "From your Valentine." Now, how much of this is fact and how much is legend is up to interpretation. But with this story, we have a great example of how Valentine's Day is about more than just cards in a box and candy.
Father Valentine was executed for doing what he was supposed to—carrying out the sacrament of marriage, binding two people together who were in love, with God as their witness. We have Father Valentine showing his faith and love to God by maintaining his vows and doing the work he was called to do. It's a pretty good example of love, I would say.
During this time, the Romans had a festival called Lupercalia, a fertility festival that included rituals, matchmaking, and maybe even a lottery or two to "pick your mate." This festival was commonly observed on February 15th. In 496 AD, Pope Gelasius I made February 14th St. Valentine's Day so Christians could celebrate Lupercalia in their own way. This evolved into the Christian Valentine's Day, where love, commitment, and devotion are celebrated.
Now that the history lesson is done and we see how Valentine's Day originated, how can we, as modern people and leaders, make modern Valentine's Day about more than just a shoebox full of cards and some candy? This year, The Lutheran Pastor's Diary has Job 10:1-22 and John 5:1-18 as the readings for the day. In this part of Job, he is in deep despair; he was suffering and feels abandoned, questioning God's love. This sounds like a familiar theme for those who may not have a special someone on February 14th. I even remember being heartbroken as a kid when I didn't get a "special Valentine" from that "special someone." Just like Job, we often do not realize that God still loves us and is with us even during times of trial and suffering.
John 5 tells us about a man who had been an invalid and suffering for 38 years. He could not reach a "healing pool" to be healed. Someone cut in front of him whenever he tried, and no one would help him. Jesus tells him, "Get up, take your mat, and walk." Jesus responded to this man not with judgment but with love. He met the man where he was and offered assistance, help, and healing—not just empty words. Meeting people where they are is one of the keys to connecting and leading. Go to them, and do not make them come to you. Have you ever given a "loving" card but did not mean what it said? Or worse, you meant it and said it but didn't follow through with actions that aligned with your words? If we genuinely want to connect with others, our words must match our actions. We have to do this consistently, not just from time to time.
As leaders and citizens of the world, there are people all around us who are hurting, forgotten, and weary. You may have an employee or coworker with "something" going on that has affected their output, mood, or attendance. When we don't just talk about love but demonstrate it, we notice these issues and ask if there is something we can do. We offer to help. Of course, there are times when you have a "bad employee." And in those cases, you have to do what you have to do. But in my experience, there is often an underlying problem—maybe a cancer diagnosis for the employee or a spouse, perhaps an addiction problem that can be addressed. You may be able to affect not only the employee's life but also their family's life. Not only that, but you will be that shining city on a hill, the lamp on the lampstand.
Your other employees and those around you will see how much you care, and that kind of love and connection can be just as contagious as a poor attitude or lousy morale that comes from someone being punished or terminated. It is much easier and more cost-effective to keep and support employees you have already invested time and training in than to fire someone and start over—especially when a little love and connection may have done far greater good.
In closing, I want to leave you with quotes that have affected my life and how I look at things. The first one, for the Christians out there:
"When we Christians behave badly or fail to behave well, we are making Christianity unbelievable to the outside world." – C. S. Lewis
"You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want." – Zig Ziglar
So, this Valentine's Day, remember that it is about more than superficial gifts, dinner, and cards. It is about embracing the love Jesus tells us to have for God and each other—not just saying it or displaying it, but living it every day, not just one day a year. Let February 14th, 2025, start a movement of living a life of love for our neighbor and love for God. Do this every day, not just one day a year. Show the world around your light and your love and you will be amazed how your world and the world around you change.
Valentine's Day: More than Candy, Flowers, and Dinner